Now entering the "dark time"...

CW: Homicide, mental health stuff

Hi ya’ll! Can you believe it’s the middle of April already? I cannot. This year is flying by way too quick.

I started going back to therapy, and it’s a good thing, because we’re entering the “dark time” of year for me.

My mom’s murder and my attempted murder were in June of 2006, so every year around the end of April, May- til about July.. (then my birthday in August! Then my mom’s birthday in October, then holidays, so really the whole rest of the year!) I turn into kind of a mess.

My anxiety gets super high, my depression goes into overdrive, and memories of years past start flooding. I’m seriously so glad to be back in therapy. I am still working with my own life coach which has been super helpful as well. I have a psychiatrist appointment next week. So you see, it takes a village! :) A whole team to keep me going! No shame in that.

My therapist has been working on some breathing exercises with me to help when my anxiety gets to a bad place, which it has been a lot lately.

I’m really trying to focus on celebrating her life this year, instead of only focusing on how she died. It’s so hard because trauma memories and ptsd are so damn persistent. But I will give it my all. Of course, I will be blogging a lot more about that on my patreon. You can see my patreon at www.HiMeganAshley.com

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What I’ve been up to this last month:

I did a thing! I was on a podcast called “The Mourning Meeting” where I discuss my mom’s murder and my attempted murder in detail, so trigger warning before listening to that. Here’s the link in case you’d like to: Experiencing Murder and Attempted Murder as a Teen

AND! Quick reminder, I also have a podcast I host with Sex Coach Leigh called Queers Next Door. We release a new episode twice a month, go to QueersNextDoor.com to check out our episodes <3

I’m actually writing this while I’m live on my youtube channel for Writing Wednesday! I do this every Wednesday at 12pm-2pm PST/3pm-5pm EST! You can write, edit, do social media, whatever you gotta do during our productivity sprints! I set the timer for 20 minutes, we work, then take breaks and chat. It’s like having coworkers for those of us who work from home! I love it.

I’ve been releasing new videos every Monday, and some short videos throughout the week. You can subscribe to my youtube channel here. MeganAshley.me/YouTube

I’ve been posting each day on my private Facebook group for those who are patreon members, and that makes me so happy to do. It’s self care, wellness, meditation tips, and some funny memes. I am having a blast though.

Two things I’ve always wanted to do were to

1) have a newsletter and

2) have a facebook group, so check and check! Thanks for being a part of it!

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I FINALLY DID MY FUTURE BOARD AND I’M POSTING THAT ON PATREON FRIDAY! I’M SO FREAKIN EXCITED. I’ve been meaning to do that since January!!! I post digital vision boards every month on the P, but there’s something so special about doing one on poster board with scissors and glue.

I also got a new stone this week. Ya’ll know how obsessed I am with stones. Here’s the new beauty:

It’s a carnelian palm stone! OK THAT’S REALLY IT FOR NOW! I will see ya’ll next month. Let me know how you’re hanging in this month? I hope everyone is taking care of themselves!

XO, M